Draco Malfoy at the Beach
by Guro of Flowers
Summary: Draco Malfoy soakin' up some rays? Not quite his idea of a good time. One-shot.


I know, we should be working on Flying Lessons...I promise the next chapter will come! Until then... Draco Malfoy, everybody!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Draco emptied the sun block and lathered it onto his face— Merlin forbid he get a _tan. _Only once his face was fully covered and three shades lighter with the lotion did he choose to venture outside.

"Bloody Dumbledore and his stupid class trips," he grumbled, but finally decided to make the best of the situation upon seeing a bodacious blond walk bye.

He puffed out his chest and walked up to her saying, "Hey beautiful, where are you goin'? The beach is that-a-way." He pointed to the boardwalk Shia LeBouf style, making sure to show of his 'muscles'.

"Yes... I'm aware. I'm not going to the beach," she said, annoyed that yet another arrogant freak was trying to flirt with her.

"But _I'm _this way," he informed her, ending with a not so subtle— or sexy— wink.

"Which is _exactly_ why I'm going THAT way," She replied, whilst pointing in the opposite direction. She then proceeded to sashay away.

"HUMPH!" Draco 'Sharapova-grunted'.

Suddenly a man with long silver hair and a longer silver beard skipped by. "How's it going, Draco m'boy? Huhahaha," he chirped gleefully.

Draco stared at his headmaster and his bright pink flamingo Speedo. Mouth agape, he tried for the hundredth time to figure out what was up with that man. How could anyone be so happy all the time?! It was NOT possible!

After several moments of Draco staring at him, Dumbledore skipped away towards a gaggle of Gryffindors making a sandcastle which—though Draco hated to admit it— was rather impressive.

That Granger girl must have been using magic to make it perfect.

Draco scowled and headed towards an area with more members of his own house.

"Hey! Do you want to join us for a game of Frisbee?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Absolutely NOT, you stupid-"

"Sure!"

Draco spun around and met the eyes of Harry Potter.

"'Sup Draco; you want to join?" he asked courteously.

Draco spun back around to the original asker. "Wha— but Crabbe, you— eh— Potter playing—What- NO!" He spluttered, aghast at what was about to happen.

Gryffindors and Slytherins getting along? He wouldn't stand for it!

Harry shrugged. "Suit yourself man." Then he walked away towards Draco's friends...Well maybe not his _friends_, but certainly his minions!

Who did Potter think he was taking over his minions?

Then the answer came to him in a sudden stroke of brilliance.

"Potter has created Crabbe and Goyle robots!"

It was, of course, the only logical explanation as to why his loyal followers would hang out with 'The Boy Who Lived' or, as Draco called him, 'The Boy Who Thinks He's the Best at Everything but is Really Just a Big Fat Pee-Head.'

"Actually," Crabbe's voice sounded behind him, "your head is more like pee, Blondie. Harry's isn't anywhere close."

Draco paused. Had he spoken aloud? Well, no matter! There were more important things for him to deal with. "I—"

"Draco, I am appalled. How can you think that I think that I'm the best at everything? All I ever do is try my hardest, and if that makes me the best, so be it. You shouldn't get mad at me for being number one," Harry said, shaking his head solemnly and wiping at his eyes.

Goyle patted his back. "There, there. Draco doesn't mean it."

Draco wondered how he hadn't realized the robot-factor immediately. The voice sounded so mechanical!

He glared. "Stop whining Potter. Did you hear yourself? Just now you said you were the best."

Harry nodded, suddenly cheerful again.

"So what do you mean you don't think you're the best at everything?"

"Draco, Draco. I _don't _think I'm the best_. _I _know_ it."

Draco fumed, narrowing his eyes. "Well your time of being the best is up!" he shouted. "I know your little secret."

"Your new pals here?" he continued, smirking. "Yeah, I know what they are."

"Say it," Harry challenged, crossing his arms. "Out loud."

"Robots," Draco whispered devilishly, the smug half-smile bursting into an all-out grin. He'd won!

_Or not,_ he thought as Harry burst out laughing.

"What?!" Draco bellowed. "It's the only reason my min— I mean friends would hang out with a tosser like you!"

Goyle frowned. "No. We just got tired of you treating us worse than sidekicks," he explained. "We're people, not tools!"

"Yeah," Crabbe agreed. Then he turned to Harry. "You're nicer than that. Right?"

"Shut up minion," Harry ordered cheerfully, and the three left Draco alone in the sand, dazed and confused.

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Thanks for reading!

Note: The Shia LeBouf style pointing is a reference to Transformers, and the Sharapova-grunt is referring to the tennis player Maria Sharapova. The "say it...out loud" is making fun of the Twilight movie. We referenced the HBP movie as well when Draco calls Harry a "tosser" (did anyone else find that muggle girl to be completely random?).

Whether you got those or not, please review :)

Guro of Flowers


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